remembering your dreams

when I was ... er... 11 yo, somewhere in late 90's, I watched Vanessa Mae on tv. Playing her violin like a mad queen. That's when I wanted to be a violinist.
But the dream was only a story to be told, because  i knew that violin was an expensive instrument that we can't afford. 

But then........I received a violin when I was in junior high (around 13yo), ......from a distant relatives. The violin was once belong to my father's cousin's late father-in-law (see how distant it is ?, wasn't even count as 'relative' for sure). His wife (my father's cousin's mother-in-law, not my father's wife or my father's cousin's wife) gave it to my father because she heard that I was very fond of music and already sing and play guitar a lot since elementary, and have particular interest for classical music. AND, that I had a dream of becoming a violinist.
Her late husband was a musician and was once a member of a famous symphony orchestra in my country. And because her own grandchildren prefer football than piano, she then decided that there's nothing wrong in giving his violin to me. In attempt of keeping his heritage alive. 

It was awesome. Even at that time, I knew that not everyone has the chance to even touch a violin, much less playing it. But then I stumbled on bigger challenge, my parents don't have enough money to pay a violin tutor for me.

So, the violin should wait. and there he wait in his hard case, like Dracula.

After 5 years, we finally managed to have a teacher, a cheap one, living not far from home, and I start my first lessons.

..........but it lasted only for a month.

because then, I had to move to Central Java to finish my last year of high school.

And so, the violin once again being kept in the darkness.

3 years later, I was still in Central Java, entered a university, living a nearly bankrupt student live whose happiness depends on food and comic books.
I was also able to play in several bands, before in 2005 i got involved in a J-grunge band. and the next year I managed to find another violin tutor (a good looking lad, but then I realized he was good looking because he plays the violin). So then I take classes from him.

but then, after a few months of practices, I have to quit because I graduated from my uni, and have to go back to Jakarta and start living life as an adult ... (you know, looking for job, paying bills, etc).

so, if my memory was right, between 1997 - 2007, in total, I had less than a year of violin lesson.

Drac (i've decided to call him Drac , from Dracula) has to wait for another 4 years, before FINALLY, he could breathe the fresh air again when my father found a teacher for me.

the story of how Drac been kept in a dark hard case for years is now finally has its ends. Because until now, the glorious year of 2014, my lesson is still going on well.

Mae is still out of my reach, well that is for sure! But this thing, the feeling of being able to play beautiful composition on a beautiful instrument that is twice your age old, is worth all the waits,
all these years.